How to feign your way into a conversation

as most of u guys know, i've been away at The Land Beneath Us for a week of training. i was already running late on the first day because i can't decide on which color shirt to wear. when i finally reached the hotel ballroom where the training was held, the organizer greeted me, "Hi, you must be kai ling."

wow...after merely 2 months of working, and my reputation has already preceded me? Feeling somewat smug, i asked him "How did u guessed?"

"Because you are the only girl who signed up for this OpenAT training."

i looked around and true enough....*gulp* twenty-odd guys were staring up at me. oh drat... not only am i the lone female specimen, i'm also the youngest among them. suddenly i had a tiny urge to flee to my room and pack my belongings. but the tiny urge was squatted instantly when i thought of the bonding agreement between me and my company. ready or not, i have to see it til the end or else i have to foot the entire training cost.

after one day of training, i was ready to pull my hair out if anyone ever mention GPRS, GSM module or cyclic timer in front of me again. GIVE IT A BREAK ALREADY! these guys can't seem to stop fretting over power consumption, flash capacity and all sort of crap in and out of lectures. i feel like a total misfit. what about the Merlion, Takashimaya and the Heeren? what about the gorgeous foreign tourists who hangs out at Clarke Quay? needless to say, all i got in return was odd looks.

but fear not, i came up with a really good plan to last me thru the week. if you dun have it, FEIGN IT. for example, let say u wan to join a stimulating (but dull) and technical (but pointless) conversation. here are three fool-proof steps that will bound make u ooze intellect and geekism in no time:

1. Stand aside first and pick up the keywords to understand the flow of the topic e.g. CDMA, Q2406 module, M2M, DOTA, API handler etc.
2. Sprinkle your selection of keywords with relevant verbs such as customizing, developing, embedded, upgrading and querying. the rule of thumb is, the syllable of the verb should be as long as humanly possible.
3. Lastly, add a few random abbreviations like O.W.Ls, LOTR, XOXO, KNNBCCB for the awe factor . you know, just to throw them off their feet a little for being so uptight.

i find it particularly useful when someone stand between me and the buffet spread during lunchtime, asking my views on the latest upgraded wireless Q25xx module that is yet to be released in the market.

"personally, i think that the wireless embedded-programming cannot be fully supported by KNNBCBB unless the Q25xx have enough OWLs for multi-handling."

see, anybody can be a pro using my guidelines. sometimes i feel like such a fraud in this industry. but i am trying really hard to improve myself as a programmer despite my lack of interest because i believe a good technical background is essential for my next career path.

now, where can i get my hands on nice shoes in Singapore?